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Despicable.Me.Subtitle by TAX!3 (Terengganu)
Enjoy
Tumpang tanye, tuan, is there a commode?
Justin!
Cepat,ambil gambar saya.
Saya ade piramid di tangan.
Justin, awak dtg sini sekarang!
Tidak, jangan!
- Jangan, jangan! Halang dia!
- Patah balik! Jangan panjat!
***, ***.
Sabar. Tenang, budak kecil.
Okay, tunggu, budak! Berhenti di situ. Tidak!
No, no, no! Pergi juga dia.
Justin!
Saya dapat dia! Saya dapat dia!
Malam ini di Mesir
telah diketahui bahawa
Pyramid Gyza yang hebat dan besar
telah dicuri
dan digantikan dengan satu replika yang besar.
Semua penduduk dunia mula panik
kerana mereka
cuba melindungi sejarah warisan berharga mereka.
Pihak berkuasa masih belum dapat sebarang petunjuk,
semua orang tertanya-tanya,
siapakah orang
yang bertanggungjawab melakukan jenayah ini?
Dan dimana pula dia akan mencuri selepas ini?
#Saya melalui hari yang teruk, sungguh teruk#
#Dah sampai masa nya saya kembali ke jalan yang betul#
#Steamrolling whatever I see#
Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
#Saya melalui hari yang teruk, sungguh teruk#
#Kalau awak kecil hati, tak pe la#
#tengok, ini mmg menarik utk dilihat#
#Despicable me#
Selamat pagi, Gru!
Awak sihat?
Hello, Fred.
FYI, anjing awak dah berak
kat laman rumah saya,
dan saya tak suka perkara tu berlaku.
Maaf. Awak tau la,anjing mmg mcm tu.
Mereka pergi ke mana saja yang mereka mau.
Melainkan bile mereka mati.
Saya bergurau je la!
Tapi, tu mmg betul pon.
Have a good one.
Okay. Yeah.
#Steamrolling whatever I see#
#Despicable me#
#Saya melalui hari yang teruk, sungguh teruk#
#kalau awak kecil hati, tak pe la#
#Despicable me#
Ade saje yang mengacau aku!
Hello!
Biskut untuk dijual.
Pergi dri sini. Saya tak de kat rumah.
Ye la tu. Saya boleh dengar awak.
Tak. Awak tak dengar sebab
ini adalah rakaman suara saya.
- Bukan, bukan rakaman.
- Ya, ini mmg rakaman.
Tengok ni. Tinggalkan pesanan, beep.
Goodbye, rakaman pesanan.
Agnes, come on.
Kyle!
Anjing jahat! Tidak! tidak, tidak. Duduk. Kuih saya.
Gru!
Dr Nefario.
Saya faham apa yang awak rasa.
saya juga melalui
masalah yang sama,
tapi bagi saya,
awak tetap yang terbaik.
Kenapa? apa dah jadi?
Semua berita memaparkannya!
Ade orang curi piramid.
Mereka kata, dia akan buat
perompak yang lain kelihatan
bodoh.
Kumpulkan semua pekerja!
Pekerja, berkumpul!
Okay. Okay.
Hey!
Kelihatan ceria, Kevin!
Apa khabar keluarga awak? Sihat?
Okay je.
Macam tu la Bill saya! Ape citer, Larry?
Hello, semua!
Yeah, all right!
Simmer down. Simmer down!
Terima kasih, okay.
Sekarang, Saya tau kamu semua mungkin dah tau
pasal ade perompak
yang telah mencuri piramid.
Ternyata, ia satu kesalahan yang besar.
Orang menggelarkannya sebagai
jenayah paling dahsyat pada kurun ini.
Adakah saya kecewa? Tidak, Saya tak kecewa!
Sikit je la,
tapi kita ada
pencapaian yang bagus utk tahun ni,
dan rekod kamu semua dalam buku saya juga bagus.
Tidak, tak ade kenaikan gaji!
Kamu semua tak akan dpat sebarang kenaikan gaji.
Apa patut kita buat?
Well, kita akan curi Times Square JumboTron!
Cantik!
Macam tu la saya bekerja.
Yeah, kamu semua suka tgk football kan,
huh?
Tapi bukan itu saja.
Kita juga akan curi Tugu Kebebasan,
yang kecil di Las Vegas.
And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower!
Also Vegas.
Okay, Saya tak akan beritahu kamu
semua tentang ini lagi,
tapi saya tengah menjalankan
sesuatu yang besar!
Sesuatu yang membuatkan cerita piramid ni
dilupakan oleh semua orang!
Dan terima kasih diucapkan kepada
sahabt baik saya, Dr Nefario...
Terima kasih!
Itupun dia.
Dia bergaya.
Sekarang, kita dah kenalpasti lokasi 'sinaran mengecil'
dalam satu makmal rahsia,
dan bila kita dah dapat 'sinaran mengecil' tu,
kita akan mampu
untuk melakukan satu jenayah yang begitu hebat pada kurun ini.
Kita akan pergi mencuri...
Tunggu, tunggu! Saya belum beritahu kamu apa sebenarnya benda itu.
Hey.
Dave, dengar sini, please.
Lepas ni, kita akan mencuri,
berhenti ***, bagi suspen,
BULAN!
dan bile BULAN tu jadi milik saya,
dunia akan menurut kemahuan saya
apapun, saya mahukannya kembali!
Dan saya akan menjadi perompak yang paling hebat di abad ini!
Itu lah yang saya harapkan.
Ya?
Hello, Gru?
Saya dah mengkaji kos untuk jenayah ni,
dan saya tak rasa yang kita dapat melakukannya.
Jenayah ni mmg tak boleh dilakukan. Saya bukan pembuat keajaiban.
Hey, chillax.
Saya baru je dapat pinjaman bank.
Mereka sukakan saya!
Edith, hentikannya!
Apa? Saya hanya berjalan.
- Hi, Mak cik Hattie. Kami dah balik.
- Hi, Mak cik Hattie. Kami dah balik.
Hello, girls!
Ada orang tanye pasal nak ambil
kami jadi anak angkat tak?
Biar mak cik ingat balik.
Tak ade!
Edith! Apa yang kau letak atas meja aku?
kuih mud.
Kau tak akan pernah diambil sbg anak angkat, Edith.
Kau tau pasal tu, kan?
- Ya, aku tau.
- Bagus.
Jadi, macam mana jualan td?
Cukup tak ngan quota kita?
Lebih kurang la.
Kami dah jual 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies,
and 18 coco-nutties.
Okay.
Jadi, kamu kata macam ianya satu jualan yang bagus .
Tengok muka mak cik!
Kamu fikir jualan kamu hari ini bagus?
Lapan belas coco-nutties.
Mak cik rasa kamu boleh buat lebih baik
dari ni kan?
Yeah.
Kamu tak nak menghabiskan masa hujung minggu kamu di
dalam Kotak Malu, kan? Tidak.
- Tidak, Mak cik Hattie.
- Tidak, Mak cik Hattie.
Okay, bagus. Pergi.
Bersihkan barang2 mak cik.
- Hi, Penny.
- Hi, Penny.
Hi, semua.
Hello, Mom. Sorry, Saya nak telefon, tapi...
Aku hanya nak ucap tahniah pada kau
kerana berjaya curi piramid tu.
Memang kau yang curi kan?
ataupun perompak lain yang lebih berjaya?
Sekadar ntuk pengetahuan, Mom,
Saya bercadang nak buat sesuatu
yang amat, amat, amat besar.
Bila mak dengar tentangnya,
mak akan berbangga.
Semoga berjaya. Okay, saya pergi dulu.
Gru nak jumpa Mr Perkins.
Yes, silakan duduk.
That's one small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind.
Ma, suatu hari nanti, saya akan pergi ke bulan.
Saya rasa awak dah terlambat untuk itu.
NASA dah berhenti hantar orang ke bulan.
Hey.
Saya nak memohon pinjaman bagi perompak.
Cuba cari, guna nama Vector.
Ia adalah satu mathematical term,
satu nilai yang diwaikili oleh anak panah,
dengan menggunakan arah dan magnitude.
Vector! Itulah aku,
sbb aku melakukan jenayah
dengan menggunakan arah dan magnitude.
Oh, yeah!
Tengok senjata baru aku.
Pistol Piranha! Oh, yes!
Ia menembak piranha hidup. Pernah tgk tak sebelum ni?
Tidak, kau tak pernah. Aku menciptanya sendiri.
Nak tengok demonstrasi?
Tembak! Payah juga, kadang2,
untuk memasukkan balik piranha ke dalam...
Encik Gru, Encik Perkins nak jumpa sekarang.
Jadi, apa yang aku nak
adalah duit drpd bank utk membina roket.
- kemudian, bulan akan jadi milik kita.
- Wow!
Well, persembahan yg baik.
Aku nak tengok 'sinaran mengecil'.
Sudah tentu! Bila aku dah memilikinya.
'Sinaran mengecil' tak de pada kau?
Tapi kau dengan yakinnya
pergi membuat pinjaman bank?
Begitulah.
Kau tau tak brapa bnyk modal
yang telah bank laburkan, Gru?
With far too few of your sinister plots
actually turning a profit.
Macam mana aku nak terang ea? katakanlah epal ni adalah kau.
Kalau kita gagal dapatkan duit kita balik...
Faham?
Dengar sini, Gru, kau tau tak,
banyak perompak kat luar sana,
muda dari kau, lebih semangat dari kau,
muda dari kau.
Macam perompak muda tu,
Vector.
Dia baru saja curi piramid!
Aku tau, aku tau.
Jadi, selain dari cari duit utk buat roket...
Dapatkan 'sinaran mengecil', baru kita boleh berbincang.
Teruk!
Teruk!
Kita dah dapat!
Apa?
Hey! Hey! Apa! Hey!
Tidak, tidak, tidak!
Kau!
Sekarang, kau akan fikir 2 kali sebelum
membekukan kepala orang, Gru!
Jumpa lagi, Gru!
cepat! Kita tak boleh biarkan dia terlepas.
Di sana! Di sana!
Tembak! Tembak, sekarang!
Awak rindukan saya!
Datang kepada ayah!
Ambil tu.
Sungguh murni.
Got you in our sights!
Like taking candy from a...
What?
Hey, Gru!
Try this on for size!
Pelik. Apa yang dah jadi...
Ini memang claustrophobic!
No, no, no!
Terlalu kecil! Terlalu kecil utk saya!
Saya benci lelaki tu!
...dan tlg perhatikan kami, dan semoga
kami mendapat tidur yang lena.
dan ketika kami tido,
semoga tak de serangga yg dtg kt telinga kami
dan bertelur dalam otak kami.
Bagus. Terima kasih, Edith.
dan semoga
ada orang dtg ambil kami sbg anak angkat,
dan mereka orang yang baik
dan ada binatang peliharaan.
Amin.
- Amin.
- Amin.
Unicorns, I love them
Unicorns, I love them
Uni, uni, unicorns
I love them
Uni, unicorns, I could pet one
If they were really real
And they are
So, I bought one so I could pet it
Now it loves me
Now I love it
Awak jangan... Apa yang...
Semoga berjaya, budak-budak!
Whoa! terbaik.
Hi! Kami anak-anak yatim
daripada rumah Puan Hattie.
- Saya tak kisah. Buat je!
- Come on!
Kami menjual biskut
jadi, awak tau, kita ada masa depan yang baik .
- Tunggu, tunggu! Kamu ada coco-nutties?
- Yeah.
Lampu menyala.
Dr Nefario!
Saya nak 12 robot utk
menyamar menjadi biskut!
- apa?
- Biskut robot!
- Siapa ni?
- Oh, lupakan saja.
Well, nampaknya kamu dah jelas
tentang latar belakang,
Dr Gru.
Dan saya nampak kamu dah membuat satu senarai
untuk pencapian peribadi kamu.
Terima kasih. Saya mmg suka membaca.
Dan saya tau kamu dah dianugerahkan
pingat Jasa
dan perwira.
- Saya, saya, saya.
- Saya, saya, saya.
Kevin?
Awak ada rancangan memasak sendiri
dan awak boleh tahan nafas
selama 30 saat?
Tak begitu membanggakan.
Sengal!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Apa yang diatas nama... Apa?
Well, ini dia dealio.
Hidup saya sunyi sejak isteri saya,
Debbie, meninggal dunia.
Rasa macam hati saya dah jadi gigi,
dan ada caviti padanya
yang hanya boleh dipenuhi oleh kanak2.
I'm sorry.
Awak seorang wanita yang cantik.
Awak boleh ckp Sepanyol?
Muka saya nampak mcm boleh ke?
Muka awk mmg mcm muka Sepanyol.
Well, terima kasih!
Anyway, boleh kita teruskan dengan pengambilan ni?
Sangat sngt teruja!
Tolong beritahu Margo, Edith and Agnes
supaya dtg ke lobby.
Saya jamin bakal emak seorang yang cantik!
Saya jamin bakalayah ada mata yang bersinar-sinar.
Saya jamin rumah mereka dibuat drpd Gummi Bears.
Saya hanya kata yang keadaan akan jadi baik.
Ulat beluncas saya tak pernah bertukar jd rama2.
Itu adalah Cheeto.
Well, Debbie adalah seorang wanita yg bertuah.
Siapa Debbie?
Isteri awk.
Hi, girls!
Girls, Mak cik nak kamu jumpa Mr Gru.
Dia akan mengambil kamu semua.
Dan dia seorang doktor gigi!
Yeah!
Hi. Saya Margo. Ini pula Edith.
Dan yg itu Agnes.
Saya dapat kaki awk! Saya dpt kaki awk
Okay, cukuplah tu, budak kecil.
- Lepaskan kaki saya. Come on. Awk boleh buat.
- Tinggi lagi!
- Tinggi lagi!
- Lepaskan pegangan awk. Wow!
Mcm mana awk buang tu?
Ada jampi ke?
Atau spray ajaib?
Penguil?
Okay, budak2, jom pergi.
Oh, yeah!
Sangat menakjubkan!
Apa yang awk tgk tu?
Boo-ya!
Awk mengecil, budak mulut banyak!
Terimalah!
You done been shrunk!
Yello?
Saya dah ada 'sinaran mengecil'. All right
Tidak, saya tak mau bermain.
Gru?
Jgn buat saya ketawa! Tidak.
P.S., dia tak kan dapat BULAN tu,
dan P.P.S., setelah saya selesai dengan dia,
dia akan merayu-rayu meminta simpati.
Okay, bye.
Tgk diri awk wahai tandas kecil
utk bayi yang masih kecil...
Pergi mampos, tandas kecil!
Okay, kita dah sampai.
Home sweet home.
Jadi, inilah rumah awk?
tggu ***...
Awk lah lelaki yang
menyamar jadi pesanan rakaman!
Bukan saya, org lain la.
Boleh saya pegang tangan awk?
Tak boleh.
bila kami diambil oleh org botak,
Saya rasa ni akan jadi mcm Annie.
No, hey!
Kyle, diorang bukan musuh. Diorang tetamu.
Budak2, ini Kyle,
anjing saya.
Fluffy doggy!
anjing jenis apa tu?
Jenis... Entah la. Saya pun tak tau.
Awk betul2 rasa ini adalah tmpt yg
sesuai utk budak2?
Sudah tentulah tidak.
No! No! Jauhkan diri daripada situ!
ia nya bahaya.
Well, saya rasa rancangan akan menjadi dgn dua org.
Hey! Gelapnye kt dalam sini.
It poked a hole in my juice box.
Seperti yg kamu dpt lihat,
Saya dah sediakan segala keperluan
yg diperlukan oleh budak2.
All right.
Okay. saya nak cakap... Hey!
Ade org pecahkan tu.
Okay, okay.
Jelas sekali, kita kena buat satu undang2.
Peraturan pertama.
Kamu semua tak boleh sentuh apa2 barang.
Mcm mana dgn lantai?
Yes, kamu boleh sentuh lantai.
Mcm mana dgn udara?
Yes, kamu boleh sentuh udara!
Mcm mana dgn yang ni?
- dri mana kamu dapat benda tu?
- Saya jumpa.
Okay. Peraturan kedua.
Kamu tak boleh ganggu saya ketika saya sedang bekerja.
Peraturan ketiga.
Kamu tak boleh menangis, bergelak tawa,
atau bersin atau sendawa atau kentut!
So, tak ade bunyi yang pelik. All right?
Bunyi ni pon tak boleh ke?
Sangat tak boleh!
Saya akan jumpa kamu selepas 6 jam.
Okay, jangan risau.
Segalanya akan baik.
Kita akan bergembira disini.
kan? Agnes?
Soalan. Apa benda2 ni semua?
Satu dozen boogie robots! Boogie!
Tgk sini. tgk saya!
Biskut robot. Saya kata biskut robot.
Kenapa kamu sangat tua?
Okay. I'm on it.
Hello?
TV!
Apa benda tu?
- Tgk tu!
- Sangat menarik!
Come on!
Saya tak rasa dia seorang doktor gigi.
Dah lama kita buat kerja2 ni.
Ia adalah ubat anti-graviti.
I meant to close that.
Dia akan okay. Percayalah.
- Kesan nya bahaya tak?
- Setakat ni,
tidak. Tidak, tak bahaya.
dan ini,
senjata baru yang kamu order.
Tidak, tidak.
Saya order "dart gun," bukan... Okay.
Oh, yes. Sbb saya rasa
dalam sesuatu keadaan
perlu ke kita guna ni?
But, anyway.
Apa yang saya nak tunjuk pada kamu sebenarnya adalah ni.
Now those are cookie robots!
La, la, la, la
I love unicorns
Apa yang awak buat kt sini?
Saya suruh kamu duduk kat dapur!
Kami boring la. Tempat apa ni?
Boleh saya minum ni?
Kamu nak meletup?
Gru!
Kembali ke dapur!
- awk tak nak bermain dgn kami?
- tak nak.
- kenapa?
- Sbb saya sibuk.
Sibuk buat apa?
Okay, okay, saya mengalah.
Doktor gigi bukan pekrjaan saya, ia hanyalah satu hobi.
Saya bekerja sbg spy.
Dan ni adalah rahsia sulit,
kamu semua tak boleh beritahu sesiapa pun,
- klu kamu beritahu juga...
- Apa benda ni buat?
Hey!
My unicorn!
Awk kena betulkannya.
Betulkan? tgk, benda ni da uzur.
Secara senang nya, ia mmg dah x boleh dibaiki.
Ia menakutkan saya. Apa yang dia buat tu?
Dia akan tahan nafas dia
sampai dia dapat kuda yang baru.
Ianya cuma mainan. Dah, cukup!
Okay, okay! Saya akan betulkan kuda tu!
Tim! Mark! Phil!
Ini mmg penting.
Awak kena dapatkan budak kecil tu
kuda yang baru.
Hey, hey, hey! A toy!
Pergi, dan cepat!
Apa benda tu?
Mereka adalah sepupu saya.
Jerry! Stuart!
Perhatikan mereka,
dan jauhkan mereka dri saya, please.
- Wow!
- Wow!
Ia sebenarnya idea sepupu awk.
Apa?
Okay, masa utk tidur.
Bukan kamu berdua!
Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye.
Semua tidur. Semoga mimpi indah.
Kamu tau,
kamu tak kan pernah jd ayah saya.
Saya rasa saya boleh terima tu.
Katil ni dibuat drpd bom ke?
ya, tp bom tu dah lame
dan tak akan meletup.
Tp jgn cuba macam2.
Cool.
- Boleh awk bacakan kami cerita?
- Tak boleh.
Tapi kami tak boleh tidur
tanpa ada org bercerita.
Kalau macam tu, malam yg panjang la
malam yg panjang bg kamu, kan?
So, good night, sleep tight,
dan jgn biar nyamuk gigit kamu.
Sbb ada beribu-ribu nyamuk
kt sini.
Dan mungkin juga
ada dalam baju kamu.
Dia bergurau je, Agnes.
Cantik.
Girls, let's go.
Masa utk menghantar biskut!
Okay. tapi mula2, kite kena pergi kelas menari dulu.
Actually, kita akan ponteng
kelas menari hari ni.
Actually, kita tak boleh
ponteng kelas menari hari ni.
kita ada majlis yang besar tak lama lagi.
- Kita akan menari utk Swan Lake.
- Yeah, Swan Lake!
Sangat indah. Cantik sekali.
Tapi kita kena hantar biskut! Come on!
Tidak.
Tidak?
Kami tak kan hantar biskut
selagi tak pergi kelas menari.
Betul?
Well, Saya tak kan hantar kamu ke kelas menari.
Kalau kamu nak pergi,
kamu kena jalan kaki.
Apa yang kamu buat?
Berjalan ke kelas menari.
Ya? Okay, baik.
Teruskan berjalan,
sebab saya tak kan hantar kamu semua!
Okay.
Kamu akan rasakan penangan Gru!
Serius, saya akan kira sampai tiga!
Lebih baik kamu masuk ke dalam kereta!
Okay! Satu! Dua!
...tiga, empat dan lima.
And lift, and stretch.
Dan satu, dan dua...
- Nah.
- Apa ni?
Tiket utk ke majlis menari.
Awk datang sekali kan?
Sudah tentu, sudah tentu.
I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on.
Pinkie promise?
Oh, yes. My pinkie promises.
All right.
Our first customer is a man named Vector.
But he's a V.
You know, we're supposed
to start with the A's.
Then we go to the B's. Then we...
Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten.
I know how the alphabet works!
I was just thinking
that it might be nice
to deliver Mr Vector's first.
That is all.
Almost over. It's almost over.
Girls, welcome back
to the fortress of Vector-tude!
Do you have my cookies for me?
Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes,
two caramel clumpies
and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.
Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else
order that many cookies.
Not likely.
Name one person
who ordered more cookies than me.
That'll be $52.
Right.
Seven, eight, nine...
Tic Tacs! Where was I?
Seven, eight, nine...
Why are you wearing pyjamas?
These aren't pyjamas!
This is a warm-up suit.
- What are you warming up for?
- Stuff.
What sort of stuff?
Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
Like sleeping?
They are not pyjamas!
Here you go, 52 big ones.
Bye!
Come on!
What the...
Quiet down, fish!
Down, boy!
We did it! Come on, girls, let's go!
But what about the other people
who ordered cookies?
Life is full of disappointments
for some people.
Don't do that!
Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please?
No.
But we've never been.
And it's the funnest place on earth!
Don't care.
- Please?
- Please?
We'll never ask for anything else,
ever again!
- Pretty please?
- Please?
- Come on!
- Come on!
Light bulb.
Come on!
Goodbye, have fun.
Sorry, dude.
They can't ride without an adult.
What?
Oh, my gosh!
Look at that fluffy unicorn!
He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
You've gotta let us play for it!
No, no, no.
Come on!
How much for the fluffy unicorn?
Well, it is not for sale.
But all you gotta do to win it
is knock down that little spaceship there.
It's easy!
Yay!
Again!
- Wait!
- Come on. One more time!
Just one more.
I accidentally closed my eyes.
- I hit it! I hit it!
- That was cool.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?
She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.
Hey, buddy,
let me explain something to you.
You see that little tin spaceship?
You see how it's not knocked over?
Do you know what that means, professor?
It means you don't get the unicorn!
Somebody's got a frowny face.
Boo! Better luck next time!
Okay, my turn.
Knocked over!
- It's so fluffy!
- Yeah!
That was awesome!
You blew up the whole thing!
Let's go. Let's try another game!
Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word?
Okay, girls, go play.
I got the shrink ray!
Cotton candy!
We have 12 days
until the moon is in optimum position.
We can't afford any distractions!
Get me Perkins.
Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins,
but I figured that you would want to see this!
What?
Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
Now, the rest of the plan is simple.
I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon.
I grab the moon. I sit on the toilet.
What?
Sorry. Sorry!
Could you excuse me for just one second?
I told you not to touch my things.
I told you, I told you.
I've told you a thousand times.
Hey, can we order pizza?
Pizza? You just had lunch.
Not now, for dinner.
Dinner?
Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever.
Just get back in there!
Can we get stuffed crust?
- Stuffed crust!
- Stuffed crust!
I'll stuff you all in the crust!
You're funny!
Just don't come out of that room again!
All right.
Sorry about that. Where were we?
You were sitting on the toilet.
No, no, no! No, I'm sorry.
It was a little attempt at humour.
I know how much you like to laugh
inside. Now, I was saying...
You don't seem terribly focused, Gru.
Believe me, I am completely focused.
- Hello!
- What?
That guy is huge!
- Are we on TV?
- What are those? Children?
What are you doing?
I told you to stay out of here!
No, no, no!
Freeze ray!
Mr Gru?
Okay.
As I was saying...
No need to continue. I've seen quite enough.
- But my plan...
- Is a great plan.
I love everything about your plan,
except for one thing.
You.
Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me
landing on the moon!
Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket
out of macaroni!
Look, Mom, I made a real rocket
based on the macaroni prototype!
I don't understand.
Let's face reality, Gru.
You've been at this for far too long
with far too little success.
We're gonna put our faith,
our money, into a...
Well, a younger villain.
But I...
It's over. Goodbye, Gru.
Now, I know there have been
some rumours going around
that the bank is no longer funding us.
Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest.
They are true.
In terms of money,
we have no money.
So how will we get to the moon?
The answer is clear.
We won't.
We are doomed.
Now would probably be a good time
to look for other employment options.
I know.
I have fired up my resume
as I suggest that all of you do, as well.
What is it?
Can't you see that I am
in the middle of a pep talk?
Yes!
Yes, we will build our own rocket
using this and whatever else we can find!
Grab everything!
Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars!
Who needs the bank?
Let's go. Let's go!
Mom! What are you doing here?
And here he is in the bathtub.
Look at his little buns.
Mom.
Not cool.
And here, he's all dressed up
in his Sunday best.
He looks like a girl!
Yes, he does. An ugly girl!
You're funny!
Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy!
Mr Perkins, your son is here.
Send him in.
Hey, Dad.
You wanted to see me?
- Yes, I did, Victor.
- I am not Victor any more.
Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector!
Sit down!
Do you know where the shrink ray is?
Duh! Back at my place.
Oh, is that right?
Back at your place? That's cool.
I guess Gru must just have one
that looks exactly like it!
What the... Those girls sold me cookies!
Do you have any idea
how lucrative this moon heist could be?
I give you the opportunity of a lifetime,
and you just blow it!
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, really?
You just wait
until Gru sees my latest weapon.
Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah!
There's a squid on my face!
Don't worry.
The moon is as good as ours.
Come on now, it's bedtime.
Did you brush your teeth?
Let me smell. Let me smell.
You did not!
Put on your PGs.
Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously!
This is beddie-bye time, right now.
I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
- But we're not tired!
- Well, I am tired.
Will you read us a bedtime story?
No.
Pretty please!
The physical appearance of the "please"
makes no difference.
It is still no, so go to sleep.
But we can't. We're all hyper!
And without a bedtime story,
we'll just keep getting up and bugging you.
All night long.
Fine.
All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens.
Sleepy Kittens?
- What are these?
- Puppets.
You use them when you tell the story.
Okay, let's get this over with.
"Three little kittens loved to play,
they had fun in the sun all day.
"Then their mother came out and said,
'Time for kittens to go to bed."'
Wow! This is garbage.
You actually like this?
Keep reading!
- Come on!
- All right, all right, all right.
"Three little kittens started to bawl,
"'Mommy, we're not tired at all.'
"Their mother smiled and said with a purr,
"'Fine, but at least
you should brush your fur."'
Now you brush the fur.
This is literature?
A 2-year-old could have written this.
All right.
"Three little kittens with fur all brushed
"said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! '
"Their mother replied, with a voice like silk,
"'Fine, but at least
you should drink your milk."'
Now make them drink the milk.
I don't like this book.
This is going on forever.
"Three little kittens, with milk all gone,
rubbed their eyes and started to yawn.
"'We can't sleep, we can't even try.'
Then their mother sang a lullaby.
"'Good night kittens, close your eyes.
Sleep in peace until you rise.
"'Though while you sleep, we are apart,
"'your mommy loves you with all her heart."'
The end. Okay, good night.
- Wait!
- What?
What about good night kisses?
No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging
or kissing.
He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes.
I like him. He's nice.
But scary.
Like Santa!
Only 48 hours till the launch,
and all systems are go.
About that,
I was thinking that maybe
we could move the date of the heist.
Please tell me this is not as a result
of the girls' dance recital, is it?
No, no, no!
The recital? Don't... That's stupid!
I just think it's kind of weird
to do it on a Saturday.
I was thinking,
maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right?
Gru, you and I have been
working on this for years.
It's everything we've dreamed of.
Your chance to make history,
become the man who stole the moon!
But these girls
are becoming a major distraction!
They need to go.
If you don't do something about it,
then I will.
I understand.
Good.
Butt.
Butt.
Butt.
All right.
Now, when we put our cups together,
we will make the "clink" sound
with our mouths.
Ready? Edith?
- Clink.
- Clink.
There we go. And now we drink.
And Agnes?
- Clink.
- Clink.
Very good!
Excuse me, girls.
Come on!
Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking.
- Clink, clink.
- Clink, clink.
Miss Hattie, what are you doing here?
I'm here for the girls. I received a call
that you wanted to return them.
And also,
I did purchase a Spanish dictionary.
I didn't like what you said.
But...
I will get the girls ready.
Don't let her take us, Mr Gru!
Tell her you wanna keep us.
All right, girls. Come on, let's go.
Goodbye, Mr Gru. Thanks for everything.
I did it for your own good.
Come on, let's go get that moon.
Right.
What is this for?
The recital?
I am the greatest criminal mind
of the century.
I don't go to little girls' dance recitals!
Opening launch bay doors.
Commencing launch sequence.
And we are good to go
in T minus 10 seconds.
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
six...
Oh, yeah!
Nice work, Doctor. All systems go.
Boo-ya!
My flight suit.
Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty...
I've got it!
I've got the moon!
I've got the moon!
I can make it!
- Wait a minute!
- Kevin!
Come on, come on!
He's still not here.
Why would he come? He gave us up.
But he pinkie promised!
Girls, girls, places!
No, we can't start yet!
We're still expecting someone.
Can we just wait a few more minutes?
All right. But just a few more minutes.
He's not coming, guys.
Gru! Gru, can you hear me?
Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!
Okay, okay. There's the library.
That's Third Street. The dance studio...
There! There! There it is!
Sorry, buddy. Show's over.
Over?
Vector, open up!
First give me the moon. Then we'll talk.
- Mr Gru!
- Zip it, Happy Meal.
Now, the girls.
Actually, I think I'll hold on to them
a little while longer.
No!
Oh, yeah! Unpredictable!
Listen close, you little punk.
When I get in there,
you are in for a world of pain!
I'm really scared!
He is gonna kick your butt.
What? He punched my shark!
There he is!
Hang on, Gru.
Oh, no!
Vector has the girls. Go!
What happened to the ship? It's big again!
- Not as big as the moon is going to be!
- What?
The larger the mass of an object, the quicker
the effects of the shrink ray wear off!
I call it the Nefario Principle.
I just came up with it now, actually.
Oh, no!
Did you see that?
- Vector! Help!
- Vector!
- Over here!
- Hey!
What are you girls doing back there?
The moon!
Watch out!
Get as close in as you can.
You got it.
- Mr Gru, up here!
- Mr Gru!
Okay, girls! Girls!
- You're going to have to jump.
- Jump?
Are you insane?
Don't worry, I will catch you.
You gave us back!
I know, I know.
And it is the worst mistake I ever made.
But you have to jump now.
It'll be okay.
Okay, girls.
Jump now!
Margo, I will catch you.
And I will never let you go again.
- Not so fast!
- No!
Let me go!
Margo!
I'm coming, Margo. Hang on!
I got you.
No!
Oh, poop.
This time, good triumphs,
and the moon has been returned
to its rightful place in the sky.
But once again, law enforcement is baffled,
leaving everyone to wonder,
who is this mysterious hero?
And what will he do next?
Okay, girls. Time for bed.
- Come on! We want a story.
- Three sleepy kittens!
Oh, no! Sorry. That book was
accidentally destroyed maliciously.
Tonight we are going to read a new book.
This one is called
One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this?
Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book!
Here, watch this.
That's the horn!
This is gonna be the best book ever!
Not to pat myself on the back,
but, yes, it probably will be.
Here we go.
"One big unicorn, strong and free
"thought he was happy as he could be.
"Then three little kittens came around
"and turned his whole life upside down."
Hey, that one looks like me!
No, what are you talking about?
These are kittens!
Any relation to persons living or dead
is completely coincidental.
"They made him laugh.
"They made him cry.
"He never should have said goodbye.
"And now he knows he could never part
"from those three little kittens
"that changed his heart.
"The end."
Okay, all right. Good night.
I love you.
I love you, too.
No, no!
All right.
Didn't I get you already?
They're very good!
I'm so proud of you, Son.
You've turned out to be a great parent!
Just like me.
Maybe even better.
No, I'm fine. Go ahead.
No, no, no!
THE END
Hey, Carl! Hey.
No, no, no.
Me, me, me.
John?
No, no. Me, me, me.
Oh, poop.
Oh, no!
Stop! Stop!
Hello, I am Gru.
Back to work, back to work! Back to...
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